Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
