I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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