I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
