the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
