The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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