While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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