Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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