In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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