my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
