Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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