my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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