"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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