Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
