dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
