Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
