i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
