i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize