i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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