I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
