Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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