I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
