I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
