I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
