i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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