Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
