the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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