I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
