I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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