You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize