That's intense
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
