Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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