Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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