Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
