Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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