Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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