And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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