tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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