Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
