Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
