Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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