what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize