I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
