did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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