so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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