Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm just crazy horny about you
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize