Dual....:-)
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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