after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
