so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize