Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
