The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
now i know why i became what i already was.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
