I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
