i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
