Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
