My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize