I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
