it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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