your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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