ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
