I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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