it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
