I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize