I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
