She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
